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            <a href="#" rel="get tabs_world.txt news world_wait">World</a>
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            - <a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_wearable_feedbags_let">
            New wearable feedbags let Americans eat&hellip;</a><br>
            - <a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/black_guy_asks_nation_for_change">
            Black guy asks nation for change</a><br>
            - <a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31006">
            Scientology losing ground To new &hellip;</a><br>
            - <a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_get_the_fuck_outta_the_road">
            New program to increase pedestrian safety</a>
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